Going Ghost and Why It's the Absolute Worst Way to End a Relationship (So Please, Please Don't Do It)

I’ve been ghosted.
Or, well, at least I think I have (I am still, fingers-crossed, refusing to give up hope entirely. Yes, I am an idiot—thanks for pointing it out).
And it suuuuuuucks.

I recently started seeing a guy. He was cute and sweet and funny and sort of, kind of weird and I was so into him. We met online obviously, as I am incapable of interacting with people irl, and talked… err, texted for a good, long while.I’m talking like two weeks (I know! It’s an eternity!). And that shit was constant—the sort of incessant flirt-fest that really gets me excited.

We played the question game, as one always should (if you are dating and don’t know about the question game, reassess because it is awesome. Basically, you go back and forth, throwing each other increasingly personal questions (which you must then answer yourself) so you can get to know each other. It’s ballin’). We talked, we got deep, we were silly, he was cute, and I was totally on my game (you should see my texting game—I could charm the pants right off of ya), and we just really, really hit it off.

So, we next stepped it and decided to meet in person. I was sort of super nervous because I am horrible at in person (take away my phone and I crumble into an awkward, sweaty nightmare) but I liked this guy so I was takin’ the leap.
I leapt.
We met.
And despite the fact that I literally talked about the pros and cons of a human hamster ball and the fact that online dating is the easiest way to murder someone (it is), things actually went well.
Better than well. Things went pretty damn great.

**Insert a The Breakfast Club style fist-pump into the air**

Anyway, I’m not here to bore you with a blow-by-blow of my mini-relationship. Things continued to go pretty damn well/great/etc. and we continued to go on dates. I continued to like him. He continued to like me. I, much to my dismay, discovered that he is waybetter at accents than I am (Gasp! I know! I’m practicing—I will not be bested). But yeah, all in all, we were on the up-and-up and things were looking promising.

Until… dun, dun, dun… I got hella ghosted.

For those of you that are lucky enough to not know what a ghost is, it’s basically anytime anyone you are romantically involved with disappears off the face of the earth. Those constant texts? That shit is dunzo. In fact, you’re lucky if you can get a response out of them.

It starts slow—your ghost gets super busy super suddenly.
But hey, at least they’re open about it.

You think nothing of it but suddenly a couple of days go by and all you’re getting from Ghosty
McGhosterson is radio silence.

You reach out. They grunt in reply.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.You finally get it (well, almost—fingers crossed, remember?). You’ve been ghosted. That bitch is gone.

I am not alone as a ghostee. We have all been there. I alone have been there more than once (ugh x infinity). And it is the woooooorst.

So I’m begging you—please, people, do not ghost.
I know that it’s easy. You’re right—if you never respond, the stupid idiot on the other end of the line will eventually get the hint and leave you alone, effectively freeing you of any attachment or responsibility. But at some point, even for a solitary second, you liked and cared for that stupid idiot, and if you ask me, that deserves at least a modicum of respect. Seriously-- that is something. That should be something.

So, what are you supposed to do then?
This is going to seem like crazy talk, but honestly… just be honest. I’m not saying to tell somebody that you don’t like them because of A, B, and C reasons. But I’ll admit, I’d rather know why a boy didn’t like me (hamster talk, in-depth murder plot, and sweating more than any living human being should) than be left in the dark.
And I know for a fact that most people agree with me—ask anyone.
Hell, ask yourself.

In truth, I don’t care how you break it off. In truth, there is no good way to break it off.
But you’ve still gotta do it.
Grow a set and say something.
We’re all adults here, right?

And you—yes, you (and okay, I am talking to me, just a little bit)—if you have been ghosted, remember not to get too hung up about it.  It sucks. I mean, you were this close to having a date to your cousin’s wedding. But you’re alright. Yeah, your ego is bruised (seriously, it’s black and blue) but anyone who ghosts you isn’t someone you want in your life anyway.
But what about…
No, forget about that.
Give up the ghost**.
Move on.
Get a hotter date to your cousin’s wedding.
Have you seen your ass?
You’ve totally got this.

**I recently learned that “give up the ghost” means to die. So, please don’t do that. Just forget about that loser who stopped texting you. Thanks.