I really don't want to sit down and reflect on the year that was 2015.
2015 wasn't good to me. 2015 really wasn't good to me. And it wasn't not good to me in the way a lot of years are--where you don't quite accomplish all the stuff you wanted to, where you feel a little lame because nothing all that exciting happened and you just lived your life. Nah, 2015 did me real dirty (we're talking a couple hundred punches right to the gut). And I don't really want to talk about that either.
So, instead, I'll summarize.
In 2015 I:
- went on a lot of bad dates
- and then lost my job
There. When you put it that way, it doesn't sound all that bad. But not all that bad came with a lot of lessons that I don't think I needed to learn. Not all that bad taught me some things about life that I don't want to believe, that I'm not ready to believe, that I'm not sure I will ever be ready to believe. In short, sometimes life is a big ol' bitch and sometimes--and this is the real kicker--people are absolutely and unequivocally shitty. Hard work doesn't always pay off. People lie. And they lie easily, they lie a lot. Good things don't come to those who wait. Good things don't even necessarily come to those who work their asses off for it.
This year shattered everything I have ever believed about life. It stomped all over my optimism. It took the magic out of living.
I haven't been doing great.
That whole magic thing was always kind of my schtick.
The good news? 2015 is over. I never have to think about that bitch again. And honestly, I really don't think I will, thank you very much. Don't get me wrong, I can't forget the stuff I learned in The-Year-That-Should-Not-Be-Named. That stuff, as absolutely horrible as it is, is still important to my growth as a person. The naivety is gone. The magic, I think (I hope), will be making a comeback.
Getting the magic back, it's going to take some work. On my part. Only on my part. Life/the Universe owes me nothing. I finally get that (well... almost. No matter how many times I get figuratively punched in the face, I just can't quite let go of the idea of kismet).
I'm ready to do the work.
I'm an adult.
This year shattered everything I have ever believed about life. It stomped all over my optimism. It took the magic out of living.
I haven't been doing great.
That whole magic thing was always kind of my schtick.
The good news? 2015 is over. I never have to think about that bitch again. And honestly, I really don't think I will, thank you very much. Don't get me wrong, I can't forget the stuff I learned in The-Year-That-Should-Not-Be-Named. That stuff, as absolutely horrible as it is, is still important to my growth as a person. The naivety is gone. The magic, I think (I hope), will be making a comeback.
Getting the magic back, it's going to take some work. On my part. Only on my part. Life/the Universe owes me nothing. I finally get that (well... almost. No matter how many times I get figuratively punched in the face, I just can't quite let go of the idea of kismet).
I'm ready to do the work.
I'm an adult.
And it's time to set some goals.
So, without further ado, here's some stuff I'm going to do in 2016:
1. Work towards a career
Not a job. A career. (Though, at this point, a job wouldn't be half bad either). But the thing is, the last couple of years have been spent bouncing around trying to figure out who I am. Not wasted time exactly but I'm currently unemployed (after being laid off from a job that I was not all that passionate about anyway). I still don't know what I want to do. But I know who I am now. And I want a career in a field that actually helps better people's lives--whether that be tangibly or through, you know, that whole quality of life thing. I've got a few ideas. I'm going to take a few courses--bone up on the stuff I already know. And most importantly, I'm going to embrace what I'm good at. So, hustle. Enough with the no.
2. Take back my health
Luckily, I'm 25. Time is more or less on my side when it comes to my health. But it's my job to take care of this body I've been given. And I'm going to start doing that. That gym membership I've had since June, I'm going to use it. That gym I haven't gone to since August, I'm going to go to. All the delicious healthy foods that do actually exist (they do, right?), I'm going to eat 'em. And okay, don't get me wrong, I am so going to eat tacos too. Just less of them. I swear.
3. Save my money (so I can have a future)
Surprise unemployment helped me realize that not having any real savings is not an option. It's hard when the job you do get doesn't pay enough. It's really goddamn hard. And as a young person, there's pretty much no chance in hell that I will ever secure a job (at least right now) that actually pays the amount I (or any of us) deserve to earn. But saving is still possible. I'm doing it right now, and that's only using unemployment checks. As soon as I do get that job I want so much, I'm ramping up the saving. So I can have a life.
3.5. Save my money (so I can have some fun)
I WILL TAKE A TRIP IN 2016. Period. This is non-negotiable. Unfortunately, the type of trips I want to take involve a lot of dollar signs but they are dollar signs I can save up for. I'm creating a travel fund for myself--$30 a week (and then some--a penny or two or $3.65 a day adds up) stashed away so at the end of the year, I can ring in 2017 somewhere new.
4. Move out
Even though I read a study that more women live at home now than they did during World War II (it's great being a millennial), I still feel like I'm too old to be at home with my parents. I love them. But they've done enough for me. It's time I break loose and go be poor somewhere else. I really need to take this step. I just have to get a job first.
5. Write more
I want to write more about what I care about in 2016. I want to blog more--about lots of things like movies and books and life and stuff. And I want to get all of those ideas I've got floating around my head-- you know, for novels and short stories and travel books--down on paper. And then! Then I'm going to do something with 'em.
1. Work towards a career
Not a job. A career. (Though, at this point, a job wouldn't be half bad either). But the thing is, the last couple of years have been spent bouncing around trying to figure out who I am. Not wasted time exactly but I'm currently unemployed (after being laid off from a job that I was not all that passionate about anyway). I still don't know what I want to do. But I know who I am now. And I want a career in a field that actually helps better people's lives--whether that be tangibly or through, you know, that whole quality of life thing. I've got a few ideas. I'm going to take a few courses--bone up on the stuff I already know. And most importantly, I'm going to embrace what I'm good at. So, hustle. Enough with the no.
2. Take back my health
Luckily, I'm 25. Time is more or less on my side when it comes to my health. But it's my job to take care of this body I've been given. And I'm going to start doing that. That gym membership I've had since June, I'm going to use it. That gym I haven't gone to since August, I'm going to go to. All the delicious healthy foods that do actually exist (they do, right?), I'm going to eat 'em. And okay, don't get me wrong, I am so going to eat tacos too. Just less of them. I swear.
3. Save my money (so I can have a future)
Surprise unemployment helped me realize that not having any real savings is not an option. It's hard when the job you do get doesn't pay enough. It's really goddamn hard. And as a young person, there's pretty much no chance in hell that I will ever secure a job (at least right now) that actually pays the amount I (or any of us) deserve to earn. But saving is still possible. I'm doing it right now, and that's only using unemployment checks. As soon as I do get that job I want so much, I'm ramping up the saving. So I can have a life.
3.5. Save my money (so I can have some fun)
I WILL TAKE A TRIP IN 2016. Period. This is non-negotiable. Unfortunately, the type of trips I want to take involve a lot of dollar signs but they are dollar signs I can save up for. I'm creating a travel fund for myself--$30 a week (and then some--a penny or two or $3.65 a day adds up) stashed away so at the end of the year, I can ring in 2017 somewhere new.
4. Move out
Even though I read a study that more women live at home now than they did during World War II (it's great being a millennial), I still feel like I'm too old to be at home with my parents. I love them. But they've done enough for me. It's time I break loose and go be poor somewhere else. I really need to take this step. I just have to get a job first.
5. Write more
I want to write more about what I care about in 2016. I want to blog more--about lots of things like movies and books and life and stuff. And I want to get all of those ideas I've got floating around my head-- you know, for novels and short stories and travel books--down on paper. And then! Then I'm going to do something with 'em.
6. Put my trust in the right people (and then pay it forward)
Most people suck but some don't. Those are the ones I'm going to put my trust in, those are the ones I should invest my time into. I have a good friend group and I need to be better to them. I am notoriously bad at staying in touch with people--life just gets in the way--but I want to change that in 2016. So, if I love you, prepare to hear from me a lot more this year. I'm coming for ya.
7. Stop trying to force the whole "falling in love" thing
Enough is enough. I've spent more time on online dating sites than I would care to admit and it just isn't working. I've deleted my apps. And I don't plan on re-downloading them any time soon (give me a few months though and I'm sure we'll all see their return). Loneliness is terrible--truly--but trying the same thing again and again and again and expecting a different result is insanity. I'm taking a break. I'm seeing what happens. Admittedly, it will probably be nothing. But hey, it's worth a try, right?
So there you have it--me (hopefully) in 2016. I've set my goals. I've written them down. I'm accountable. And I really, really want to get the magic back.
Here's hoping I (and you) manage to pull it off.
Happy New Year, guys!
May 2016 be so much better than 2015 was.
That little shit.
No comments:
Post a Comment